Under the Cover of Night
by WordE.Smith
Summary: Severus contemplates his plunge into darkness, his fall into light, and his stagger into the area in between... one-shot


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anyone who is part of Potterverse. The story/plot is mine. Any characters that you don't recognize I also claim as my own.  
  
Title: Under the Cover of Night  
  
  
_Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.  
_David T. Wolf  
**  
  
**The beginning is always a good place to start a tale.  
  
Severus wasn't sure where it began - where he began.  
  
His infatuation with the darkness was picked up quickly. He devoured dark texts loaned to him by a platinum-haired schoolboy. He practiced. He listened to his practice pay off. He relished it.  
  
Did the darkness start to comfort him when he met that platinum-haired boy with a haughty manner and courteous words?  
  
No, Severus shook his head. People should take responsibility for what they have done. The platinum-haired boy hadn't done it to him. It had started long ago.  
  
He was seven years old.  
  
Mr. Wiggins was a neighbor. He was an antique man who followed antiquated ways. He did not appreciate quidditch, but jousting. He did not use parchment, but vellum - rough and expensive. His clothes jumped right out from the medieval period. He killed people that he found wandering his land without his permission.  
  
Severus loved him.  
  
Severus' own father was a horrible drunk. He had spent all the galleons that the Snape family had left, which, one had to admit, was not much to begin with. The man was a lout - tantamount to nothing. Severus, at the age of four, wished to kill him.  
  
Maybe the darkness had started then?  
  
No. He was seven years of age when it really began.  
  
Severus may have hated his father, but he adored his mother.  
  
She was a statuesque beauty, cold and unfeeling. She stood at a formidable height. She was a formidable person. She crushed Severus' father and Severus loved her for it. Her eyes were a light blue - almost unable to be seen. At times, one could look at her and only see white in those eyes.  
  
Her hair ran rivers down her back, black and shining. Her nose, like Severus', was prominent, but hers, of course, hadn't been bent from a fist fight at the age of seven. Her mind was fast, her tongue was sharp, and her kisses poison. That's how she killed Severus' father, at least. Severus was seven at the time.  
  
Mr. Wiggins was, in all senses of the word, kind. He had, graciously, taken Severus' entire family under his roof and let them work for him. Mr. Wiggins, lecher, took quite a liking to Severus' mother. Severus' mother, leech, took quite a liking to Mr. Wiggins. Severus liked them both to begin with.  
  
No one, on the other hand, had taken a liking to Caligula Marcus Snape.  
  
That was quite unfortunate for him on the whole. He, one might think, should have made more of an effort to make friends and less of an effort to find free drinks at pubs across the country.  
  
I'm not nervous, Thaddeus. Severus watched his mother shake off Mr. Wiggin's hand.  
  
I just thought you might be. He is your husband.  
  
Livia threw back her head and laughed. Aren't I trying to remedy that situation?  
  
Mr. Wiggins snorted and Severus noticed that his hands shook. He was nervous. Weak man. I suppose you are, dear. I suppose you are.  
  
Livia tapped his chin. Of course, I am. If you'd move then it would already be done and I would be in bed.  
  
Mr. Wiggins nodded. Yes... yes.  
  
Livia nodded in return and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind her. she asked, surprised. Severus stepped out of the shadows, head hung.  
  
I'm sorry, mother.  
  
No need to apologize, dear. She patted the top of his head and gave a wicked grin, bending down to look him in the eye. Would you like to watch, dear?  
  
Yes, Severus thought. The darkness started at the age of seven.  
  
  
  
  
The light.  
  
That started much later. It started after he had gotten on the side of Dumbledore, not before.  
  
The image that everyone had of him crying into the hem of Dumbledore's robes was true. He had. He poured out his soul on Dumbledore's crimson carpet.  
  
He had poured out his soul, been accepted into the fold, and reported everything back to the Dark Lord, providing false information for Dumbledore here and there.  
  
One day, however, they thought that he wasn't being loyal.  
  
Livia. She, too, was killed with a poisonous kiss. Malfoy was pleased of himself to this day.  
  
Severus was stoic as he watched his mother die.  
  
And once again Severus went back to Dumbledore.  
  
I must admit my infidelity to your cause, Severus said, sipping at the tea Dumbledore had so graciously offered at the beginning of his visit. The beginning of his visit when he was Severus Reformed Soul and Slave of Dumbledore Trying to Repent for a Life of Sin Snape.   
  
Excuse me? Dumbledore asked. He was obviously shocked. He had almost let his smile drop and the incessant twinkling gone. Severus was quite pleased with discovery of the latter.  
  
I have just admitted that I have been reporting all your activities to Voldemort for, Severus glanced at the clock over Dumbledore's desk, a year, five months, fourteen days, fifteen hours, and twenty seven minutes.  
  
  
  
Severus glanced up from his tea. Yes, Albus?  
  
Get out of my office.  
  
I'm afraid that you shall have to endure my presence a bit longer. I'm not quite finished with my tea.  
  
Severus, in the end, managed to prevent Albus from killing him - with Avada or other methods. No, Severus - in exchange for servitude - restored himself to a precarious position under Albus' watchful blue eyes. He still had not, then, seen the light.  
  
The light came in the form of a third year Hufflepuff. Twenty years later her name had been forgotten, but her story and her face had not. A pudgy girl of thirteen with short and flyaway blond hair and tearful green eyes had come to him long ago.  
  
Severus looked up to see the girl standing by his desk. She had always been a nuisance in class, overly cheerful and much too loud for his liking. Her enemy, Yasmine Rebvack, had insulted the girl many times in his room, but she had simply smiled through it all. Harebrained Hufflepuffs.  
  
Her eyes were overwhelmed with tears - you had to squint to make out the green hidden behind that watery curtain. I was just here to ask if - if you would take me to my parent's... parent's...  
  
Severus took a deep breath, preparing himself.  
  
Really, Professor! I figured I could trust you! I just want to see them one weekend... one weekend... She almost broke into sobs right there.  
  
Do not drip on my floor, Miss, he instructed, handing her a handkerchief. If she was going to cry then she would cry - he didn't have any real way of preventing it. She did not, however, have to drip upon his floor. Why do you want to see your parents? And what compelled you to ask me of all people?  
  
The girl shrugged and sniffled simultaneously. I just figured...  
  
She had figured wrong. He denied her request. Two weeks later she had used a draining healing spell and, as yet undiscovered, healing powers to bring Yasmine Rebvack back from the brink of death. Yasmine was alive, but she had died during the process.  
  
Severus, from then on, devoted himself solely to the light. For a decade he had done everything he could to gather information for Dumbledore. He had done everything he could to sabotage Voldemort - almost revealing himself in the process. He had suffered many Crucios, but he had, he consoled himself, saved many from suffering.  
  
Severus' dedication to the light ended with the arrival of three new first years - Ronald Weasely, muggle-born Hermione Granger, and the Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter.  
  
No. Severus had worked for both darkness and light. He had suffered for both, he had endured both, and he had, for a time, loved both.  
  
Now Severus Snape stuck to the shadows - took comfort in the gray. It was much more forgiving on the eyes than the blinding of the light and much more clear then the blindness of the dark. No, Severus, now, older and wiser, enjoyed neither the darkness or light [despising both of them at times]. Severus liked the gray.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I know. I'm beating myself up too. New story and I haven't updated ASC:P&D (A Strange Call: Prophecy and Deception) in soooo long. I've quite a snag with ASC:P&D and I appreciate everyone's patience. Once I work the kinks out (which should be soon) I'll put a new chapter up. Hope everyone enjoyed this. It's supposed to be a prologue, but, if I don't get any interest, then I'll just leave it as is. I suppose it could be a one-shot or the beginning of a story. I do have some great characters for it, though.  
  
Anyway... Read, Review, and Enjoy!


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